I walked into the back room of my two-room dorm room, my roommate and life-long friend followed me in. She said she had to talk to me and looked uber concerned. I stood by my desk and she made her way across our teeny tiny bedroom to the cross-crossed bunk bed wonderland we made to try to make as much space as possible in our tiny room.
“So what’s up?,” I inquired. “You should sit down,” she said as she plopped on her bed–and I do mean plopped as her bed was practically on the floor. “Uh oh,” I replied, since nothing ever seemingly good comes from a ‘you should sit down.’
I remember looking at my friend–who I still to this day see as the 4th grader I met at a new school in a new state, whose father was friends with my father, who dated my brother (as did 3 other friends of mine) and who promptly told me to ‘stuff it’ the first week of being my roommate because I was overreacting–and seeing a semi-scared but brave young lady. She began to tell me that she and her boyfriend had made a poor choice and allowed themselves to be alone together and she was pregnant.
In a split second I had the choice to be the stereotypical church girl and say something along the lines of oh my gosh but we are just a few weeks from graduating, and you aren’t married, and what happened to that purity ball we did in like 7th grade?! (pffft!) But I knew better, because I wasn’t as pure and blameless as I thought I would be in 7th grade and across from me sat a vulnerable little girl who knew all of that and was still choosing to tell me because she needed to tell me.
It was a split second in time that I had a choice: go into negativity, or be ridiculously excited. Because even though what happened to create that little teeny baby was out of the typical order of dating–>married–>baby, there was still a baby. And every baby is important, no matter how small. (Que Horton Hears a Who moral of the story: “A person is a person no matter how small.”)
So instead of thinking negative, I chose to be positive. I was excited for my friend. I truly was excited, but that emotion HAD to come out first. I don’t remember the extent of the conversation, but I do remember that flip of a switch that changed the outcome of that conversation from negative to positive. In the blink of an eye, I could have hurt an already scared, hurting and brave young momma. I could have turned her off from telling me important things in the future or most importantly–telling people about her situation now so she could lean on people throughout it. I could have badly damaged my life-long friendship.
Luckily, God knew what my friend needed to hear, and He spoke to me in that split second to make sure HIS daughter felt loved and cared for in that moment. And that that baby was rejoiced over, not shamed.
As part of my #Gratitude posts, I am reminded of this situation and how my friend handled her unplanned pregnancy. Luckily for her and her then-boyfriend-now-husband, their parents were supportive and helped guide them throughout the process and helped plan
the MOST beautiful wedding I’ve ever seen.
Of all of the ones I’ve seen and attended, this was by far the best. Not just because of cute decor, lots of friends and a gorgeous fall landscape, but because God was clearly present. I’m thankful for my friend who held her head up and walked down the isle to marry her loving and handsome husband while she was 7-8 months pregnant. I’m thankful for how they showed and continue to show anyone who sees their wedding photos, that God is ultimately in control and that nothing else matters. I’m thankful for the grace and beauty that exudes from her face in every photo taken that day. Most of all, I’m thankful she had a healthy 10 pound baby boy two months later. Note that says boy, because they thought he was a she–whoops. That baby is now 3 years old and HE is a handsome reminder of how God works to make what could have been bad–good.
And because I know you will see this post, dear beautiful friend, thank you for being a strong foundation for me, for our friends, for your friends, for your husband and most importantly now, for your beautiful babies. Thank you!