In honor of my THIRD Anniversary of marriage, I present to you…
Things I Wish People Would Have Told Me About Life and Marriage
These things are just items I’ve learned or witnessed as a married woman. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule and therefore when I say always or never, don’t hold me to it. And this is by no way a slap at my husband. This is a collaboration of over 10 women who attended a Bible study this past spring at my church that focused on our marriages and how we as women can improve them by improving ourselves and how we handle our attitudes. My hubby is just like every other hubby, as wonderful and quirky as all men. Just like I am like every other wife, who can be bitter and angry and spiteful. It’s an ongoing battle to be better and more loving as Christ called us to be and to love each other as Christ intended and God created.
That being said, here we go:
1. Marriage Bliss My Foot. Married people call it the “honeymoon period” and “marriage bliss” almost jokingly, but they would never let on. Once you’ve lived it, you will understand. Merging two lives into one might seem as easy and blissful as it is in the movies and books you’ve grown up reading, but it’s no where near it. You will fight, you will get your feelings hurt, you will feel bad, you will apologize and you will survive. And you’ll live to call it “marriage bliss” for the next unsuspecting sappy couple and then giggle knowingly as you walk away.
2. Boys will ALWAYS be boys. With the exception of some neat-freaks and good-cleaners, the socks will always come off near the couch, and the underwear will never make it IN the laundry basket (usually being found behind the bathroom door or next to the laundry basket), and you can pretty much bank your non-existent retirement on him asking you where he put his shoes, because those will never be where they should be either. Seems like God knew He made men with a knack for losing things and that women needed the knack for logging memories of those things for the future ease of mind so she wouldn’t have to drop everything to go find whatever it was that was lost.
4. Dishes are Never “Fun.” Wives will always get upset about having to do the dishes when her husband sits on the couch and asks her for a drink, “while she is up.” Get your cute little hiney off the couch and get a drink yourself, and while you are at it, give her a kiss because shes probably taking her anger out on the dishes and you should be happy she has the control to not break them all. (And the grace to keep doing your laundry as well).
5. Always have extra new packs of underwear lying around. “Honey I’m out of underwear.” o.O The washer is over there sweetie, it works the same way it did when you were in college and doing it yourself if I haven’t been able to get to it. Problem solution? Stock up and then you can save the day with, “Look Honey, I found one for you.”
6. Cooking is tough. Men sorta expect women to be good cooks, or at least decent. This may or may not be true for all women. For me it was not. Most times my husband was gracious; however, the times he was not, still stick in my head from 3 years ago. So men, be careful–and women, learn to cook.
7. Being fat is easy, especially when you have help from your spouse. It’s so easy to be large, eat too much, have an extra snack or simply eat the wrong foods when you are trying to please and entertain your spouse. It’s easy when bored to say, “I’ll get some ice cream or popcorn,” instead of “let’s do the laundry–it’ll be fun!” o.O
8. Love looks different to different people. I show love by serving, giving and thinking of my hubby. But he shows love by giving hugs and wanting to sit on the couch in the same room as me. I get upset he isn’t cleaning to show me love because I feel he doesn’t care or doesn’t love me. He gets upset when I don’t want to hold his hand while walking into a store because that’s how he shows and receives love. (See what I mean and what you love language is here.)
Hopefully some of these things that I learned after 3 years can help you in your first year. Or your tenth. Or whenever. Marriage is a commitment for life, not for lust.
Happy 3rd Anniversary to Me (and My Husband of Course)
(What we did, you ask? Went and ate steak and my hubby was thoughtful and let me get clothes. This is especially important due to number 7. It’s taken over the old me. And I love clearance Target. It was beautiful.)