First off I just want to say how unqualified I am to be speaking about any of this. While I have grown up in the church, believed in God since I was little, and never strayed too far from my faith, I feel there will always be someone more eloquent, more experienced and more qualified to speak with people about their relationship with God. I do best one-on-one with people. However, I do feel that I am supposed to be blogging my experiences, and so here they are (whether this is for my own personal spiritual development or the bettering of others to prove how human we all are, only God will know).
That being said, I have been a pretty shabby example of how to live in the word. I have books and verses and Bibles stashed everywhere. I pin photos of verses and quotes like a crazy-lady on Pinterest (did it ever occur to you how much time will be lost if Pinterest ever ceased to exist?). I take notes of sermons and at conferences. But I am just as human as the next person. Those notes, post-its of verses, books on how to be a better person and a better wife, and my stash of various versions of the Bible often go unnoticed in the chaos of life. Even my iPhone based Bible app gets neglected unless I’m looking for verses to help others through their struggles. Shhhhh, don’t tell the others that I have no idea what I’m doing!
Ok, that might be a little bit of a stretch. I have some idea of what I’m doing. But most of it comes from my gut when I am talking or thinking or praying about a situation. (P.S. That’s God/the Holy Spirit) While I have come to depend on my instints and the Holy Spirit working through me, I didn’t always function like that. In fact, I still don’t always function as I should.
Perfect Example: I don’t always listen to that little voice in my head when it tells me to not say something sassy to my husband instead of being patient and loving. Instead of speaking truth and life, my humanness gets in the way and overpowers that still, strong voice that is God/the Holy Spirit. But it’s a choice I make in the moment to not be patient or kind. When that voice is telling me, urging me to act a certain way and I go and do something different, that’s the humanness taking over.
So as much as I don’t want you to tell the others I have no idea what I’m doing, I do. Because by me admitting its not me, it’s showing that every time someone is encouraged by my actions or words, that means God is moving, and speaking through me. That’s a testimony in itself; which is really what it’s all about.